Saturday, November 20, 2010



1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2.You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes..
You may be a Muslim

3. You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

10. Your cousin is president of the United States .
You may be a Muslim

11. You find this offensive or racist and don't forward it.
You may be a Muslim


Tyrone applied for a fork lift operator job at a famous firm based in Detroit.

A white man applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
The manager went to Tyrone and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the white guy the job."

Tyrone, "What 'cho mean, why you be doing that, you be racist? We both got 19 questions right? This is Detroit and I be Black, I should get the job."
Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong."

Tyrone said, "Tell me how would one wrong answer be better than another?"
Manager, "Simple, On question number 7 the white guy wrote down, 'I don’t know.'
You put down, ‘Neither do I’."


I was in Lowe's the other day pushing my cart around when I collided
with a young guy pushing his cart.

I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife
and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.

I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair,
big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white
shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

I said, "It doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

Most old guys are helpful like that.


The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska .

He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' shirt.
The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about, and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing 'Go Sarah' shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of the men over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and
Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who the heck was that guy?"

"Dude, that was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with
Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"

Tuesday, November 9, 2010




It's time for your yearly Dementia test.

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something

Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next
question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content
yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a
black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green
bricks,' why are you still reading these???

If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4 Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales .

In London ,17 people get on the bus.
In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven .

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?
It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Here is the link...


I am truly perplexed that so many are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. The mosque should be allowed in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs and other establishments be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque.

We could call one of the clubs (which would be gay) The Turban Cowboy.

The other will be a topless bar called You Mecca Me Hot.

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that have an open bar-b-que pork rib restaurant called Iraq o' Ribs.

Across the street there could be a very daring lingerie store with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods. It will be called Victoria Has No Secrets .

Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an adult toy shop called Kor-anal Knowledge, its name in flashing neon lights,

On the other side a liquor store, maybe call it Mohammered.

Then the Muslims could be allowed to show their tolerance, too! What a wonderful world it would be.

Problem solved. If you agree in promoting tolerance and you think this is a good plan, pass it on. Please let me know what you think.


George Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up in the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Obama was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks -- my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you sir?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead! My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."


Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Sep 14 2010

Feds spent $800,000 of economic stimulus on African genital-washing program
CNS News - by Matt Cover

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a division of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), spent $823,200 of economic stimulus funds in 2009 on a study by a UCLA research team to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex.

The genitalia-washing program is part of a larger $12-million UCLA study examining how to better encourage Africans to undergo voluntary HIV testing and counseling – however, only the penis-washing study received money from the 2009 economic stimulus law. The washing portion of the study is set to end in 2011.

“NIH Announces the Availability of Recovery Act Funds for Competitive Revision Applications,” the grant abstract states. “We propose to evaluate the feasibility of a post-coital genital hygiene study among men unwilling to be circumcised in Orange Farm, South Africa.”

Because AIDS researchers have been unsuccessful in convincing most adult African men to undergo circumcision, the UCLA study proposes to determine whether researchers can develop an after-sex genitalia-washing regimen that they can then convince uncircumcised African men to follow.

“The aim of the proposed feasibility study is to evaluate the feasibility and acceptability of a post-coital male genital hygiene procedure, which participants will be asked to practice immediately post-coitus or at least 12 hours after,” reads the abstract.

Entitled “Community-Based HIV VCT: South Africa,” the name of the broader umbrella project, the program plans to test how well received the penis-washing regimen is among South African men.

If most of the men in the study wash their genitals after sex, are willing to do so after the study ends, and report that their partners accept the regimen, the researchers will develop another study to see if the “penile cleansing procedure” actually works to prevent HIV infections.

“If we find that men are able to practice consistent washing practices after sex, we will plan to test whether this might protect men from becoming HIV infected in a later study,” the grant says.

The study’s lead investigator Dr. Thomas J. Coates was the fourth highest-funded researcher in the country in 2002 and is currently conducting HIV research on three continents. asked both Coates and NIMH the following question: “The Census Bureau says the median household income in the United States is $52,000. How would you explain to the average American mom and dad -- who make $52,000 per year -- that taxing them to pay for this grant was justified?”

Coates, who was unavailable for comment, directed to ask grant-related questions of his assistant, Darya Freedman, who did not respond.

The NIMH also declined to respond to’s question.

Monday, November 1, 2010



Speaks for itself, doesn't it...


Take A Look At this Picture: What Do You See? Then Check the
Explanation That Follows! :


You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?

Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot
identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated
with such a scenario.

What they will see, however, is the nine dolphins
in the picture!

So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young
innocent child.. Now, if it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6
seconds, your mind is SO corrupted that you probably need help!

here's help: look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is
on her neck, follow it up. Look at her left h! ip, follow the shaded part down,
it's another one, and on his shoulder..

OH, SURE , you see them