Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in The Villages, in Florida . They met at
the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each
other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked
Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.
They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in
town. Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner
drink.
Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude
soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each
was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....
Claude was thinking:
'If I'd known she was a virgin,
I'd have been gentler.'
Maude was thinking:
'If I'd known he could still do it,
I'd have taken off my pantyhose.
I really don't know in what direction this blog is going to go...So stay tuned and enjoy the ride...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
GIVE EM HELL MIKE...
Just maybe, there is hope out there "if" we can get a few more like this guy!
WOW! Our kind of guy . Knows what the problem with our economy is and knows how to begin to fix it. Too bad that there are not another 400 or so in the congress who are like minded, will agree and act to begin our recovery.
Unbelievable! Finally someone in Congress that speaks the TRUTH!
This is a new guy in Congress whom I hadn't heard of but check him out. He actually gives his fellow legislators a piece of his mind! Why aren't there more legislators like him?
Mike Kelly, a Chevy/Cadillac dealer in western PA...was himself elected to congress last term....listen to him take the entire congress to the "woodshed".
http://pawatercooler.com/v3/?p=22696
WOW! Our kind of guy . Knows what the problem with our economy is and knows how to begin to fix it. Too bad that there are not another 400 or so in the congress who are like minded, will agree and act to begin our recovery.
Unbelievable! Finally someone in Congress that speaks the TRUTH!
This is a new guy in Congress whom I hadn't heard of but check him out. He actually gives his fellow legislators a piece of his mind! Why aren't there more legislators like him?
Mike Kelly, a Chevy/Cadillac dealer in western PA...was himself elected to congress last term....listen to him take the entire congress to the "woodshed".
http://pawatercooler.com/v3/?p=22696
FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY!
Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Harkin ,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service , I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you..
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed
by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this
bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the
United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is
to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.
I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process
started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years
of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications , as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums .. This is very important to me given that I still
have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I
would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status
rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040 ..(Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Harkin ,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service , I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you..
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed
by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this
bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the
United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is
to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.
I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process
started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years
of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications , as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums .. This is very important to me given that I still
have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I
would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status
rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040 ..(Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.)
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.
7.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS...
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.
7.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS...
WORTH THE READ!!! MAY THIS WOMAN BE HEARD...
This was written by a 21 yr old female who gets it. It's her future she’s worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare big government state that she’s being forced to live in! These solutions are just common sense in her opinion.
This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX Nov 18, 2010
Put me in charge . . .
Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.
Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.
Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”
Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.
AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.
Now, if you have the guts - PASS IT ON...
This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX Nov 18, 2010
Put me in charge . . .
Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.
Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.
Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”
Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.
AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.
Now, if you have the guts - PASS IT ON...
E-MOONING
A new phenomenom called E-MOONING
We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) an ass hole
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
You have just been e-mooned!
We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) an ass hole
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
You have just been e-mooned!
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