This is totally insulting
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell can run 8 miles in 30 seconds?....... ..... :-)
I really don't know in what direction this blog is going to go...So stay tuned and enjoy the ride...
Friday, April 20, 2012
MEN'S HELPLINE...
Hi Ed,
I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have
suspected for some time now that my wife has been
cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and
I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls
a lot (I try to stay awake to look out for her when she
comes home, but I usually fall asleep). Anyway, last
night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat.
When she came home she got out of someone's car
buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of
her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment
crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in
the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something
I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?
I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have
suspected for some time now that my wife has been
cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and
I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls
a lot (I try to stay awake to look out for her when she
comes home, but I usually fall asleep). Anyway, last
night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat.
When she came home she got out of someone's car
buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of
her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment
crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in
the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something
I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?
Thursday, April 12, 2012
GOOD MORNING AMERICA...
Good morning America HERE is just SOME OF the Changes that Obama PROMISED was to come if you elect me as YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT. READ BELOW AND SEE HOW EXCITED YOU ARE AND THEN REMEMBER NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every American - in my opinion - needs to READ this and pass it along to everyone they know.
Here's Your Death Sentence....DO READ THIS!
I had one of the most troubling, most disturbing conversations ever with
Dr. Suzanne Allen, head of emergency services at the
Johnson City Medical Center in Tennessee. We were discussing the "future"
and I asked her had she seen any affects of Obama Care in her work?
"Oh, yes. We are seeing cutbacks throughout the services we provide. For
example, we are now having to deal with patients who would normally receive
dialysis can no longer be accepted. In the past, there was always automatic
approval under Medicare for anyone who needed dialysis -- not anymore." So,
what will be their outcome? "They will die soon without dialysis," she
stated.
What about other services? She indicated as of 2013 (after the election), no
one over 75 will be given major medical procedures unless approved by
locally administered Ethics Panels. These Panels will determine whether a
patient receives medical treatment or not. While details on specific
operating procedures and schedules, Dr. Allen points out that most
life-threatening emergencies do not occur during normal hospital business
hours, and if there are emergencies that depend to be resolve within minutes
or just few hours, the likely hood of getting these Panels approval in time
to save a life are going to be very challenging and difficult, if not
impossible she said.
This applies to major operations such as receiving stents, bypass surgery,
kidney operations, or treating for an aneurysm that would be normally
covered under Medicare today. In other words, if you needed a life-saving
operation, Medicare will not provide coverage anymore after 2013 if you are
75 or over. When in 2013? "We haven't been given a specific date -- could be
in January or July....but it's after the election."
This is shocking to any of us who will be 75 this year. Her advice -- get
healthy and stay healthy. We do not know the specifics of the actual
implementation of the full Obama Care policies and procedures -- "they
haven't filtered down to the local level yet. But we are already seeing
severe cuts in what we provide to the elderly -- we refused dialysis to an
individual who was 78 just the other day....we refused to give stents to a
gentleman who was in his late 80s." Every day, she said, we are seeing these
cutbacks aimed at reducing care across the board for anyone who is over 75.
We can only hope that Obama Care will be overturned by the Supreme Court
-- otherwise, this is a death sentence to those who are over 75....perhaps
you should pass this on to your friends who are thinking of voting for Obama
this year.
Regardless if you have private health care coverage now (I have Aetna
Medicare Part B) -- it will no longer apply after 2013 if the Ethics Panels
disapprove of a procedure that may save your life.
Scary, scary, scary. Think about this? You? Your parents? Your loved ones?
Didn't know about it? Of course, not. As Nancy Pelosi said...."well, if you
want to know what's in the bill, you'll have to read it....." After it was
passed.
This is a graphic reminder of the need to stay healthy. Get your plot now at
Forest Lawn....while they last. Is this a death sentence to those of us who
will reach 75?.....Yes!
Every American - in my opinion - needs to READ this and pass it along to everyone they know.
Here's Your Death Sentence....DO READ THIS!
I had one of the most troubling, most disturbing conversations ever with
Dr. Suzanne Allen, head of emergency services at the
Johnson City Medical Center in Tennessee. We were discussing the "future"
and I asked her had she seen any affects of Obama Care in her work?
"Oh, yes. We are seeing cutbacks throughout the services we provide. For
example, we are now having to deal with patients who would normally receive
dialysis can no longer be accepted. In the past, there was always automatic
approval under Medicare for anyone who needed dialysis -- not anymore." So,
what will be their outcome? "They will die soon without dialysis," she
stated.
What about other services? She indicated as of 2013 (after the election), no
one over 75 will be given major medical procedures unless approved by
locally administered Ethics Panels. These Panels will determine whether a
patient receives medical treatment or not. While details on specific
operating procedures and schedules, Dr. Allen points out that most
life-threatening emergencies do not occur during normal hospital business
hours, and if there are emergencies that depend to be resolve within minutes
or just few hours, the likely hood of getting these Panels approval in time
to save a life are going to be very challenging and difficult, if not
impossible she said.
This applies to major operations such as receiving stents, bypass surgery,
kidney operations, or treating for an aneurysm that would be normally
covered under Medicare today. In other words, if you needed a life-saving
operation, Medicare will not provide coverage anymore after 2013 if you are
75 or over. When in 2013? "We haven't been given a specific date -- could be
in January or July....but it's after the election."
This is shocking to any of us who will be 75 this year. Her advice -- get
healthy and stay healthy. We do not know the specifics of the actual
implementation of the full Obama Care policies and procedures -- "they
haven't filtered down to the local level yet. But we are already seeing
severe cuts in what we provide to the elderly -- we refused dialysis to an
individual who was 78 just the other day....we refused to give stents to a
gentleman who was in his late 80s." Every day, she said, we are seeing these
cutbacks aimed at reducing care across the board for anyone who is over 75.
We can only hope that Obama Care will be overturned by the Supreme Court
-- otherwise, this is a death sentence to those who are over 75....perhaps
you should pass this on to your friends who are thinking of voting for Obama
this year.
Regardless if you have private health care coverage now (I have Aetna
Medicare Part B) -- it will no longer apply after 2013 if the Ethics Panels
disapprove of a procedure that may save your life.
Scary, scary, scary. Think about this? You? Your parents? Your loved ones?
Didn't know about it? Of course, not. As Nancy Pelosi said...."well, if you
want to know what's in the bill, you'll have to read it....." After it was
passed.
This is a graphic reminder of the need to stay healthy. Get your plot now at
Forest Lawn....while they last. Is this a death sentence to those of us who
will reach 75?.....Yes!
AN IMPRESSIVE LIST OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS...
Read it and think before you vote in November…
First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States.
First President to violate the War Powers Act.
First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .
First President to defy a Federal Judge's court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.
First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
First President to spend a trillion dollars on 'shovel-ready' jobs when there was no such thing as 'shovel-ready' jobs.
First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.
First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.
First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.
First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.
First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.
First President to tell a major manufacturing company (Boeing) in which State they are allowed to locate a factory.
First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).
First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.
First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.
First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.
First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 90 to date & counting.
First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.
First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.
First President to not know how to properly pronounce Navy 'corpsman'.
First President to go on multiple global 'apology tours'--including bowing to foreign rulers.
First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends; paid for by the taxpayer.
First President to not know that Austrians speak German.
First President to say that America was not a Christian nation.
First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) just for his wife.
First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.
So how is this hope and change working out for ya? Don't you feel better now?
First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States.
First President to violate the War Powers Act.
First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .
First President to defy a Federal Judge's court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.
First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
First President to spend a trillion dollars on 'shovel-ready' jobs when there was no such thing as 'shovel-ready' jobs.
First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.
First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.
First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.
First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.
First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.
First President to tell a major manufacturing company (Boeing) in which State they are allowed to locate a factory.
First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).
First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.
First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.
First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.
First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 90 to date & counting.
First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.
First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.
First President to not know how to properly pronounce Navy 'corpsman'.
First President to go on multiple global 'apology tours'--including bowing to foreign rulers.
First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends; paid for by the taxpayer.
First President to not know that Austrians speak German.
First President to say that America was not a Christian nation.
First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) just for his wife.
First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.
So how is this hope and change working out for ya? Don't you feel better now?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Paradoxical Quote of The Day From Ben Stein:
"Fathom the Hypocrisy of a Government
that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone
must prove they are a citizen."
"Fathom the Hypocrisy of a Government
that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone
must prove they are a citizen."
SUPERMARKET...
A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic
water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes
on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of
fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
experience the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered
corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes
on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of
fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
experience the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered
corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
ONESTONE...
There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named
because he had only one testicle.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love
to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a
woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for
many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed
her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day,
made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
because he had only one testicle.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love
to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a
woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for
many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed
her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day,
made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?
You can't kill two birds with one stone.
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