Monday, October 31, 2011


I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 10-year-old
Granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"

She said "It's President's Day!"

She is a smart kid.

I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... etc.

She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more
year of unemployment."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose


1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .
. . ... . . . .. . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . .
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

(I sent this in large type in case you're still looking for your glasses from last night)


A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Very Impressive!

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,
'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

"Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'


I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my forwarding it will be worth the effort. Walk with me by the water - worth the read...



I forgot the words....

Happy Halloween!!

You've been Mooned!!

Saturday, October 29, 2011


A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.

So, he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain and, since it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and, being a rather seductive lady herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She
let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had sex. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked him what kind of time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening... But, you're not gonna believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to."

Morale of the story!! What you see isn't always what you get!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011



The Solar thing just got a little more interesting.......REALLY!

The Tonopah Solar company in Harry Reid's Nevada is getting a $737 million loan from Obama's DOE.

The project will produce a 110 megawatt power system and employ 45 permanent workers.

That's costing us just $16 million per job.

One of the investment partners in this endeavor is Pacific Corporate Group (PCG).

The PCG executive director is Ron Pelosi who is the brother to Nancy's husband.

Just move along folks.....nuthin' goin' on here.


If you go to and put in Obama's time at Columbia and then follow all the various sites the discrepancies in the information given are apparent.

I find it amazing at what we ALREADY know about Herman Cain, and what we STILL do NOT know about Obama.

Herman Cain is running for president. He's not a career politician (in fact he has never held political office). He's known as a pizza guy, but there's a lot more to him. He's also a computer guy, a banker guy, and a rocket scientist guy.

Here's his bio:

· Bachelors degree in Mathematics.

· Masters degree in Computer Science.

· Mathematician for the Navy, where he worked on missile ballistics (making him a rocket scientist).

· Computer systems analyst for Coca-Cola.

· VP of Corporate Data Systems and Services for Pillsbury (this is the top of the ladder in the computer world, being in charge of information systems for a major corporation).

All achieved before reaching the age of 35. Since he reached the top of the information systems world, he changed careers!

· Business Manager. Took charge of Pillsbury's 400 Burger King restaurants in the Philadelphia area, which were the company's poorest performers in the country. Spent the first nine months learning the business from the ground up, cooking hamburger and yes, cleaning toilets. After three years he had turned them into the company's best performers.

· Godfather's Pizza CEO. Was asked by Pillsbury to take charge of their Godfather's Pizza chain (which was on the verge of bankruptcy). He made it profitable in 14 months.

· In 1988 he led a buyout of the Godfather's Pizza chain from Pillsbury. He was now the owner of a restaurant chain. Again he reached the top of the ladder of another industry.

· He was also chairman of the National Restaurant Association during this time. This is a group that interacts with government on behalf of the restaurant industry, and it gave him political experience from the non-politician side.

Having reached the top of a second industry, he changed careers again!

· Adviser to the Federal Reserve System. Herman Cain went to work for the Federal Reserve Banking System advising them on how monetary policy changes would affect American businesses.

· Chairman of the Kansas City Federal Reserve Bank. He worked his way up to the chairmanship of a regional Federal Reserve bank. This is only one step below the chairmanship of the entire Federal Reserve System (the top banking position in the country). This position allowed him to see how monetary policy is made from the inside, and understand the political forces that impact the monetary system.

After reaching the top of the banking industry, he changed careers for a fourth time!

· Writer and public speaker. He then started to write and speak on leadership. His books include Speak as a Leader, CEO of Self, Leadership is Common Sense, and They Think You're Stupid.

· Radio Host. Around 2007 after a remarkable 40 year career he started hosting a radio show on WSB in Atlanta (one of the largest talk radio stations in the country).

He did all this starting from rock bottom (his father was a chauffeur and his mother was a maid). When you add up his accomplishments in his life (including reaching the top of three unrelated industries: information systems, business management, and banking) Herman Cain may have one of the most impressive resumes of anyone that has run for the presidency in the last half century.

Compare Herman Cain’s public record to that of Obama, the anointed one:

Born in the greatest country on earth…no record available

Radical Marxist namesake published paper supporting 100% taxation of business owners

Flunked out of Occidental College…no record available

Graduated Columbia…no record available

Graduated Harvard Law School…no record available

Editor of Harvard Law Review…no papers or reviews available

Community Organizer for the “Chicago Machine”

Associate Professor of Law…Taught Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals and Community Organizing

Illinois State Senator—launched his election bid in the front room of Weather Underground Radical Bill Ayer’s house.

Senator from Illinois—voted “PRESENT” (Not Yea or Against but Present) an unusually high number of times compared to peers.

Wife ashamed of America

Won the Nobel Peace Prize for being elected President of the US

Directed the worst modern economic recovery so far in the US since the Great Depression…and it seems a second dip recession is coming

Blames his failures on previous presidents, other people, technology like computers and ATMs, other countries, the weather, earthquakes, other people, the taxpayers, the Tea Party, etc, still 3 years into his term

… And for further thought …

How could all this have happened without someone knowing him?


I hadn't thought about this - but where are Obama's past girlfriends - surely he had at least one? No past girl friends popping up anywhere? Strange - strange to the point of being downright weird in this day in age!

OK, this is just plain old common sense, no political agendas for either side. Just common knowledge for citizens of a country, especially American citizens, who know every little tidbit about every other president (and their wives) that even know that Andrew Jackson's wife smoked a corn cob pipe and was accused of adultery, or that Lincoln never went to school or Kennedy wore a back brace or Truman played the piano.

We are Americans! Our Media vets these things out! We are known for our humanitarian interests and caring for our 'fellow man.' We care, but none of us know one single humanizing fact about the history of our own president.

Honestly, and this is a personal thing ... but it's bugged me for years that no one who ever dated him ever showed up. Taken his charisma, which caused the women to be drawn to him so obviously during his campaign, looks like some lady would not have missed the opportunity....

We all know about JFK's magnetism, McCain was no monk, Palin's courtship and even her athletic prowess were probed. Biden's aneurisms are no secret. Look at Cheney and Clinton-we all know about their heart problems. How could I have left out Wild Bill before or during the White House?

Nope... not one lady has stepped up and said, "He was soooo shy," or "What a great dancer!"

Now look at the rest of what we know... no classmates, not even the recorder for the Columbia class notes ever heard of him.

Who was the best man at his wedding? Start there. Check for groomsmen. Then get the footage of the graduation ceremony.

Has anyone talked to the professors? Isn't it odd that no one is bragging that they knew him or taught him or lived with him.

Does this make any of you wonder? Ever wonder why no one ever came forward from Obama's past, saying they knew him, attended school with him, was his friend, etc?

Not one person has ever come forward from his past. This should really be a cause for great concern. Did you see the movie titled, The Manchurian Candidate?

Let's face it. As insignificant as we all are... someone whom we went to school with remembers our name or face...someone remembers we were the clown or the dork or the brain or the quiet one or the bully or something about us.

George Stephanopoulos, ABC News said the same thing during the 2008 campaign. Even George questions why no one has acknowledged that the president was in their classroom or ate in the same cafeteria or made impromptu speeches on campus. Stephanopoulos was a classmate of Obama at Columbia-class of 1984. He says he never had a single class with him. Since he is such a great orator, why doesn't anyone in Obama's college class remember him? And, why won't he allow Columbia to release his records?

Do you like millions of others, simply assume all this is explainable - even though no one can?

Some other interesting questions.

Why was Obama's law license deactivated in 2002?
Why was Michelle's law license deactivated by court order?
According to the U.S. Census, there is only one Barack Obama - but 27 Social Security numbers and over 80 aliases.


The Social Security number he uses now originated in Connecticut where he is never reported to have lived.

No wonder all his records are sealed!

Somewhere, someone had to know him in school...before he "reorganized" Chicago and burst upon the scene at the 2004 Democratic Convention and made us swoon with his charm, poise, and speaking pizzazz.
One of the biggest CONS this country has ever seen, and still getting away with it.


Follow the link below...


Best Idea I ever Heard !!!!!!

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the
best quotes about the debt ceiling:

"I could end the deficit in 5 minutes," he told CNBC. "You just
pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more
than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible
for re-election.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds)
took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple!
The people demanded it. That was in 1971 - before computers, e-mail,
cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took one (1) year
or less to become the law of the land - all because of public pressure.

Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to
a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask
each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will
have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed

_*Congressional Reform Act of 2011*_

1. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no
pay when they're out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the
Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into
the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the
American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all
Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.
Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and
participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the
American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void
effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this
contract with Congressmen/women.

Congressmen/women made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in
Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their
term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will
only take three days for most people (in the U.S.) to receive
the message. Don't you think it's time?


If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.
Please keep it going, and thanks.


I thought that this was a good story. It should be printed in all the news media.

WOW.....I never thought about it like this.

True story and most people will never know it.

Here’s an interesting side bar.

After the Japanese decimated our fleet in Pearl Harbor Dec 7, 1941,

They could have sent their troop ships and carriers directly to California

To finish what they started.

The prediction from our Chief of Staff was we would not be able to stop a

Massive invasion until they reached the Mississippi River .

Remember, we had a 2 million man army and war ships…...

All fighting the Germans.

So, why did they not invade?

After the war, the remaining Japanese generals and admirals were asked that question.

Their answer…...

They know that almost every home had guns and the Americans knew how to use them..

The world's largest army.... America 's hunters!

I had never thought about this....

A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a handful of states and

Arrived at a striking conclusion:

There were over 600,000 hunters this season in the state of Wisconsin ..

Allow me to restate that number.

Over the last several months, Wisconsin 's hunters became the eighth

Largest army in the world.

More men under arms than in Iran ..

More than in France and Germany combined.

These men deployed to the woods of a single American state to hunt

With firearms, and no one was killed.

That number pales in comparison to the 750,000 who hunted the woods of

Pennsylvania and Michigan 's 700,000 hunters All of whom have now returned home.

Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia and it literally

Establishes the fact that the hunters of those four states alone

Would comprise the largest army in the world.

The point?

America will forever be safe from foreign invasion with that kind of home-grown firepower.

Hunting -- it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security.

That's why all enemies, foreign and domestic, want to see us disarmed.

Food for thought when next we consider gun control.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his
father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades
up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your
hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, " Son, you've brought your
grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible,
but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong
evidence that Jesus had long hair."

(You're going to love the Dad's reply!)

"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

Sunday, October 2, 2011


Do you need glasses??

Look carefully at the picture below.


Do you see the bare butt of the girl in the background?

If you do see that in the picture, you need to have your eyes checked, as that is the armpit of the girl holding the the camera.

My appointment is at 2pm tomorrow.





What did Presidents Hoover, Truman, and Eisenhower have in common?

This is something that
should be of great interest for you to pass around.
I didn't know of this until it was pointed out to me.
Back during the great
depression, Herbert Hoover ordered the deportation
of ALL illegal aliens in order to make jobs
available to American citizens that desperately
needed work.

Harry Truman deported
over two million illegal aliens after WWII to create
jobs for returning veterans.

In 1954 Dwight Eisenhower deported 13 million Mexicans.
The program was called Operation Wetback.
It was done so WWII and Korean veterans would
have a better chance at jobs. It took two
years, but they deported them!

Now if they could deport the illegal aliens back then,
they could sure do it today. If you have
doubts about the veracity of this information, enter
Operation Wetback into your favorite search engine
and confirm it for yourself.

Why you might ask can't they do this today?
Actually the answer is quite simple.

Hoover , Truman, and Eisenhower were men of
honor, not untrustworthy politicians looking for votes!

Oh, and just a reminder !

Don't forget to pay your taxes - 12 to 20
million " illegal aliens " are depending on you!

No one in either party has the courage to do this.


As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.
It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Harold Jenkins is such a person:


"I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'
Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and gin into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Harold should be an inspiration to us all.



An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to"

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

Everybody standing around was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said;

"Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir... but... I've always wanted to"

There are a few lessons for all of us here:

*Don't be arrogant.
*Don't waste ammunition.
*Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
*Always make sure you know who is in control...
*And finally, Don't screw around with old folks; they didn't get old by being

I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

Saturday, October 1, 2011


Are we stupid or what?

Verified at:

How they vote in the United Nations: Below are the actual voting records of various Arabic/Islamic States which are recorded in both the US State Department and United Nations records:

Kuwait votes against the United States 67% of the time.

Qatar votes against the United States 67% of the time.

Morocco votes against the United States 70% of the time.

United Arab Emirates votes against the U. S. 70% of the time.

Jordan votes against the United States 71% of the time.

Tunisia votes against the United States 71% of the time.

Saudi Arabia votes against the United States 73% of the time.

Yemen votes against the United States 74% of the time.

Algeria votes against the United States 74% of the time.

Oman votes against the United States 74% of the time.

Sudan votes against the United States 75% of the time.

Pakistan votes against the United States 75% of the time.

Libya votes against the United States 76% of the time.

Egypt votes against the United States 79% of the time.

Lebanon votes against the United States 80% of the time.

India votes against the United States 81% of the time.

Syria votes against the United States 84% of the time.

Mauritania votes against the United States 87% of the time.

U S Foreign Aid to those that hate us:

Egypt, after voting 79% of the time against the US, still receives $2 billion annually in US Foreign Aid.

Jordan votes 71% against the United States receives $192,814,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.

Pakistan votes 75% against the United States receives $6,721,000,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.

India votes 81% against the United States receives $143,699,000 annually.


Perhaps it is time to get out of the UN and give the tax savings back to the American workers who must skimp and sacrifice to pay their taxes.

Pass this along to every taxpaying citizen you know. GO GREEN - RECYCLE CONGRESS IN 2012! (If you don't know any taxpayers just delete it!)


This was sent to me, I am forwarding it because it does touch a nerve in me..

This is another example of what Rick Perry called
"TREASON in high places" !!!

Get angry and pass this on!

Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that's close to $220,500.

If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer's contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you'd have $892,919.98.

If you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you're 95 if you retire at age 65) and that's with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you'd have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month.

The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had.

I paid cash for my social security insurance!!!! Just because they borrowed the money, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout!!

Congressional benefits ---- free healthcare, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days, now that's welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement entitlements?

We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless

In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey . And now Pakistan ......home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!

They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when it's time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place? Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries.

Sad isn't it?