Friday, April 20, 2012

LIFE'S TOP TEN REALITIES...

NUMBER 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

NUMBER 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

NUMBER 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

NUMBER 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

NUMBER 6

Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

NUMBER 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

NUMBER 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

NUMBER 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

NUMBER 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

As someone recently said to me . . .

"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long".

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